Georgie surely was loved. It's been a month since he died and on this day I remember him and search for meaning in his death. Every day as I look at Henry as he progresses in learning, interacting, and becomes more and more adorable, my heart aches to have the opportunity to experience those moments with little Georgie. Some day that day will come, but for now we just keep trudging through life in this soggy part of America. Does it ever stop raining for weeks on end? I imagine myself eventually moving out to Colorado leaving behind a dripping trail of rain/humidity and tears.
last week we held a memorial service for our dear little George in the freezing, rainy weather. I had worked for two weeks preparing everything I could think of to make it a special day. I wanted to do everything on my own mainly so I felt like I did something important for him, but many of my friends and family came to my rescue in the hours before the service to put it all together. I thank those who helped so much. Some of the ideas for what I would do for the memorial I read online, or from the books that I received at the hospital. There were many suggestions of what to do in my situation and since we didn't have a body for a funeral, I wanted to take some time to do everything I could to make it known that Georgie is and will always be an important part of our family. Some of the things I did were to make a memorial photo collage in a nice frame. His best photos, foot and hand prints, tiny toes photo, memorial invitation, family photos of the day it happened while I was still pregnant, and ultrasound photos were all included. It was the centerpiece of our kitchen table and everyone looked at it and now know what he looks like. There was a beautiful drawing of him that was my aunt Kris provided that was also on display. They are both haning in our music room where we can see them every day. My sister-in-law, Stefanie Chou and I made sugar cookies the shape of trains, planes, doves, and lambs and, with a lot of help from my dear friends Jess and Danae, decorated them with beautiful shiny sugar frosting, which took two days to do. They looked fabulous. I also spent a great deal of time preparing a gift for everyone who attended of a tiny tomato plant decorated with a ribbon and a photo of George's toes in a tiny paper frame with the words "Never Forget Georgie" or "Always Remember." These were attached by a piece of scrolled wire that stuck out of the dirt. I really loved how they turned out. We also bought a cherry tree from my sweet step sisters to plant in the backyard so that every year we can have cherries in his memory. I really wanted a tree to help remind me that the fruit of his existance is still with us and we will always look forward to when his life will bloom and give our family the long awaited sweet fruit we have been waiting for. One of the most wonderful things that was gifted to us was a song written by my sister, Lucy, called "Little Angel" which couldn't be more perfect or more sweet. I listen to it every day and I sing Henry to sleep every night with it's sweet melody. That song seems to immortalize him to me and hopefully I can share it with enough people that it will truly touch their lives in a way that will make his memory last forever to more people than just me and my husband. Many people also brought beautiful flowers, also some live flowers that I can plant outside later in George's garden, and refreshments. The house looked beautiful, springy, and full of love and support.
Over 60 people attended the service. There were people filling the rooms and hallways of our home including friends, family and neighbors that I hardly knew. I am so grateful for those that made it. Many of Justin's classmates also came to support us which, I know, can never be taken lightly with their busy schedules. It was so good to see you all. Our Bishop conducted the service, Franklin Chou played the piano, the Shill Boys, Brayden and Collin, sang "Families can be Together Forever" which was absolutely sweet and darling. I just love that family. Justin and I both spoke about what we were feeling and said things that needed to be said about him. It felt good to express what I was feeling to all the people there like how much I love Georgie and how his memory will be a great help to my spirituality and ultimately be a stepping stone to my salvation. We sang the hymns, Be Still my Soul and God be with you 'till we meet again, planted the cherry tree in our backyard and spent some good time talking with friends and neighbors. It seemed to be a real positive experience for everyone, especially those of our friends who had never had contact with The Church before.
After the service, I was left with a real sense of peace and resolution. I was left with many beautiful flowers that are still alive and blooming all around me. My home is filled with life and when the clouds break, light. I am about to plant my garden soon and I will hopefully have a summer filled with fun filled Henry moments and time spent tending my garden. I am still working on putting together a book of remembrance with all the cards, photos, and anything else I can put in a book to have to show our kids who he was how many people loved their brother and our darling son, George McGregor Hohl.
In addition, I am in the process of turning the hill in our backyard, which is covered in rocks, trash and stumps into a garden for Georgie. Justin has already built a terrace and we are adding a fence soon with an entrance next to the cherry tree we planted. Many of you have already contributed bulbs and live flowers that will come back next year after I plant them, but if you are interested in contributing to Georgie's Garden, I will be adding to it all summer and during the next four years with everything I can get my hands on. I'm going to plant trees, flowers, bushes, vegitables and anything else that comes my way so that I can keep him in our memory. You can send any contributions to 5014 Venice Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15209. He will not be forgotten.
